///ess-gee & zulove///

here i come. january thirty-first till february third.

i have to leave. again.. and again and again.

///F&L///

i'm leaving for the airport in like an hour. massively excited. yeh, i'm so excited i used 'massively' as an adjective and sounded like a fucking idiot.
back to alabang, alphabet soup, parental guidance, and friends disguised as strangers..
fear&loathing:

fuck&love,
tania.

///noise///

i have this one neighbor that keeps on knocking on my door about my music being too loud. it's not even fucking loud! seriously. last time she had this crazy pink hair and the time before that, she had some other tacky color. probably watched eternal sunshine one too many times, idolizes clementine. speaking of which, i think i'm one of the very few people that dislikes that movie. not because i think it's poorly made or has a shitty storyline.. but because i'm in denial. whatever.

obviously i need to move into a nice CEMENT loft in downtown where i will get NULL noise complaints.

aaanyway, "clementine" put this fucking NOTICE on my door the other day. so annoying.. it's not like i'm throwing fucking fifty-person parties with live djs or anything. in fact, i NEVER do. it is very seldom that i invite people over.. pieceofshitt.
















and apparently, i HATE typos.

today.. i'm sorting out my laundry. i think i'm going to RE-buy that fucking necklace i lost, too. gosh, it's such a waste of money but i honestly feel like i have to do this. it's totally and utterly imperative [and, because of that, disgusting as well]. ehhh. i'm also craving mcdonald's for some reason.. whatthefuck is this grossness?!

///oh, lord///

i've fallen madly in love with ellen page..









and this michael cera kid..

oh you overly witty girls with dyke vibes and you nerdy boys with bum jaws.. i am so into you.

///lost & not found///

ok. i'm going to try not to swear so much..

i lost this really dope necklace i bought just last week. i fucking haaate misplacing things. well, i think i dropped it somewhere along the way [from san diego to los angeles ughhh].. i'm so fucking stupid. hatehateHATE myself right now. over a fucking necklace.. haysoos mariosep, i have total material issues.

it's unlike any of your shitty imitable necklaces..




















i want it BACK!

$100 REWARD. i'm actually kinda serious, too.

///baby, take off your cool///

hoolius is too cool. and he still goes to school.








so the past couple weeks have been much better than the previous. thank fucking whoever..

richard [aka dj buddah.. haha loser, you're stuck with that name na!] came up from san diego thursday to shop around with his colombian coke dealer/sick flow friend, camillo.. i went back down to sd with them for the night.. watched super bad.. drove back to la friday night for the kicks LA party at mood in hollywood.

richard spun at the store [located on melrose across from workmens] saturday day.. i got hooked up with some beautiful beautifulll vandal highs and some junkie connotation tee that i've always wanted.. later that night, went to this veryyy odd party at some equally odd venue called, memphis. at least they had cute wallpaper.

















went to kicks again on sunday so richard could spin for a bit.. drank lindemans at a bar in santa monica last night.. had a wine and a laugh with interior designer/photographer/street pharamacist, david, in eagle rock at 3am.

also, at some point during the weekend, we watched i am legend and juno. i fell in love with juno and her witty shitt. enough talk, though, here are photos..

stolen pose from cornelia in sweden.










ready for my one night in new york city [check out that track by the horrorist.. that used to be one of my favorites back in 2000.. pretty fucked up, i know].










green rainbows all week.










boys are so silly.. where's val when i want her.








just woke up. straight to beatmaking.. haha whatever, more like myspace.










monster mash with richard's "gangsta" bandana.. thefuck.










caught..










mothafuckaaa! haha, our parents read this shitt.










joemski and i at richard's gig at spider [spyder?] club in hollywood.








i still suck my thumb. mostly with ecs.








got given a cute goorin winter hat for christmas. i totally crush the asian hottie that works there.. holyfuckingshitt, shop boys are my weakness! you don't even know.










i had TWO drinks this night.. i don't know whattheFUCK happened. i look like i'm about to rape a bitch or somethin'.










richard attracting customers at kicks LA. suuuper nice store, white and minimalistic.. kinda like an ipod.










chillin' in ya beama. every time i ride in this, it's like i'm in a club. a dj controlling the music and me dancing all fucked up.








kado at the grove. food looks so good but it doesn't taste as good as it looks. it's a shayy-ayy-yame. stick to little tokyo, kiddies.










can't go wrong with miso soup, though. mmm.. especially in the winter.










gary wilson countin' his fives, tens, and twennies.








cheesecake fact #1: i will always alwaysss be tempted to order two appetizers, an entree, and a cheesecake, but i will never neverrr be able to finish it all.
cheesecake fact #2: i will always alwaysss feel sick after overeating at the cheesecake factory, but i will never neverrr stop going there.








richard says this is his playboy pose. i wouldn't know about that but i do know this looks hella gross.










me as a caricature. you know, those funny drawings of people with the oversized heads and miniature bodies? damn i'm out of proportion..








washing the floors. a daily chore.








what i do in my spare time [which could be easily substituted with 'all the time'] at my apartment.










dance alone to muted electro.










everybody looks ugly upsidedown. except, i guess, those that don't.. fuckers.










three more days till i leave for manila. and i still ain't done my fucking laundry.







manila. home sweet fucking home..

///so good///

favoriteee: horchata..




















i think i'm gonna buy and start wearing a certain men's cologne everyday from now on. you'll know which soon. goodbye, miracle..














so yeh.. last weekend was such a blast. alphabet soup is a delight.











today i pretty much finished up christmas shopping for my immediate family. and much for myself.. though, i can't quite remember what i bought. i hate having nothing to show for my purchases.. fucking gas, food, and alcohol. ugh. well, actually, i bought a bunch of music, dvds, and really weird accessories.

these past couple weeks, i went from being a depressed existentialist to a determined hippie to a miserable fucking mess. now i'm an overly-excited retail therapy addict. ie: i'm leaving for manila in less than two weeks. i'll also be staying there longer than the original plan, which i'm glad about.

and when i get back to la, i'm gonna feel like working. because i can't do school in consecutive quarters.. i don't know why, i'm just retarded.
seriously.

///america///

simon and garfunkel live with dresses and crappy hair.




















"kathy, i'm lost," i said
though i knew she was sleeping..
i'm empty and aching
and i don't know whyyy..

for a whole five seconds yesterday, i felt so lost in this world that i stopped and considered choosing a religion.

then the thought quickly faded.

///me in europe///

in europe, without actually being in europe. courtesy of [food one] and bill shag..



















see more photos on food one's myspace [here] and more of bill shag's photography [here].

these two books are how i'm feeling right now and it is fucking f-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-n-g..





















i think i'll leave this horrid place and fly around the world for a while.