///RIP///

I wish I could be that girl.

///AURAL TENDENCIES///

I often have the, perhaps, odd tendency to listen to tracks & not pay attention to lyrics. Rather, I listen to the song itself as a whole; the fusion of the instrumentals & vocals; the combination of sounds that infiltrate my [COCHLEA].

I landed in Manila a mere few hours ago, iPod fresh out of battery & the first CD I saw on the entertainment center shelf was The Strokes debut album Is This It. Playing it from the very beginning I found myself remembering & singing along to the lyrics of each & every track. Then I wondered, do I listen to & memorize the lyrics to every song without even realizing it? Apparently so.

Though 'tis a strange & surprising new fact to me as I seem to know song lyrics subconsciously yet never actually sit back & ponder the meaning of what I'm hearing. The Strokes second single Last Nite comes on & I proceed to sing along with no mistakes. I light a cigarette to it [as is tradition for me to do with any song I happen to adore]. & for the first time ever, since the song first came out in 2002 I believe, it dawns on me how relevant the words are
to me, my life.

...

Well I've been in town for just now 15 whole minutes now/
"Oh baby I feel so down/
& I don't know why/
I keep walkin' for miles"/

See people they don't understand/
No girlfriends they can't understand/
Your grandsons they won't understand/
On top of this I ain't ever gonna understand/

...

///GOLD DIGGER///

Everyone that knows me well.. Please please pleeease tell me when in my entire life have I EVER gone for a guy for his money or who his family was?

Yeh, that's right - NEVER.

Thank you for trying to convince yourself otherwise of me. How dare you. How fucking dare you.

Superficiality will never bring me happiness.

N e v e r .

///MAROON///

An unhealthy lifestyle. Fucking up, can it not be solved? Surely it can. Or so I hope..

Keeping everything inside/
Close my eyes & listen to you cry/

I'm lifting you up/
I'm letting you down/
I'm dancing till dawn/
I'm fooling around/
I'm not giving up/
I'm making your love/
This city's made us crazy & we must get out/

This is not goodbye she said/
It is just time for me to rest my head/
She does not walk she runs instead/

Running away; an easy escape; the easy way out.

///OVERDOSE///

TA: IF i have enough money
i would really like to make a short stop by singapore
Z: If I have enough money I'll leave singapore
it's uninspiring here
TA: i always find it inspiring there.
but i guess any place is inspiring in small doses.
as is any person.

I've just had this epiphany that I must write of swiftly & succinctly. That is, everything can be related to drug addiction. Any place is fabulous & novel in small doses every now & again but actually living in any place becomes tedious & boring. Any person is interesting & engaging in small doses every now & again but actually being with that person 24/7 causes you to run out of things to speak about & often induces unnecessary madness.

Things change, yes. But if we are there to witness every millisecond of the process, we don't notice that change. We never get the chance to take a step back to watch it & appreciate it.

So, in saying this, I believe in needing to take breaks from things every now & again. I wish for things to remain fresh to me always. I neither wish for things to become lackluster to me & grow on me like mold nor do I wish for them to become pesterous.

Too much of something is like overdosing on a drug. Too much of a place or person can cause you to lose your zest for life
if not your life in its entirety.

..well, I seem to think so anyway.

Never outstay your welcome/
Just keep your mind open/
& suck in the experience/
& if it hurts, you know what/
It's probably worth it/