///RBRT///

"You know, you don't need to be so shy. You're not a spastic or anything."

///FLORA///

My perseverance in doing anything of a constructive nature eroded while my penchant for drugs flourished. Hedonism reigned supreme while academia faded far in the background, not even worthy enough for my periphery. Apparently I didn't want to be established career-wise but indeed party-wise. It's been an excitingly miserable ten year ride & a retirement in the field of revelry is now overdue..

A flower seed, if provided with enough sun & water, will sprout to bud & blossom. Then it will wither, drop its seeds back to the earth, & die. If there is again enough sun & water, those seeds will follow suit, budding & blossoming into a fresh new flower.

There's hope yet.

///NONONO///

They know everything about me but my last name. A girl, disturbed.. a life, interrupted.

-

"..a destructive spiral into misery & a further disastrous slope to normalcy. 'tis a confusing task to ponder a life as such, imagine having to live it."

///HERMITAGE///

To publish posts only to delete them. To write responses to messages only to throw them away. To type replies to texts only to clear the screen. To think of something to say only to remain silent. To make plans with others only to lock myself in my room. & to never dare make a call, let alone answer one.

It's not so much purposely avoiding as it is being frightened of the human race. I'm not a snob, I'm just scared. Behavior as inexplicable to myself as it is to others, which I truly hope is mortal. If it doesn't die down soon, I'm out..

I used to sleep only to hope I would never wake up.

Antisociology. Welcome home.

///INFINITY///

Solitude has been much more preferable to any sort of sociable event as of late. Even when I think I want to cooperate with others, once the opportunity presents itself I seem to shut down. So I've decided just to hang around at home & obsess over the sounds of a sundry of instruments. I still love you though. Well.. Some of you.

At this particular moment the overwhelming crescendo in Infinity has replaced the peaks of ecstasy in my life, threefold. Who needs drugs? Ok, admittedly I'm still working on that particular war inside my head. I hope the chaos in my life crescendoes one day.

At four minutes & forty-eight seconds, it will be ten degrees hotter, I will have shared my deepest darkest secrets & fears with absolute strangers, I will have left behind an entirely memorable yet forgettable life,
& I will start anew.

Could you tell/
Things ain't worked out my way/