///PISEAS///

I'm like water

but I don't like water.

///MUTE///

 

leaf wings help a twig fly

windswept trees sing lullabyes

i'm sleeping, slipping, weeping rain

an eyeful but no drain

drowning in clouds, soft

my throat in a choke, cough

spit, strain, reach, sustain

i've had enough

 

speak to me in silence

in a muted science

with the quietest signs

cos my mouth is blind

 

my mouth is blind

but you can read my heart

an aroma it tastes and tears apart

sitting so still

my strands look aflutter

can't move, just tremble, stutter

in a flock i'm invisible

mythical, fictional, fixable

crank, screw, alter, undo

missing and missable

i've had enough

 

speak to me in silence

in a muted science

with the quietest signs

cos my mouth is blind

//////

It scares me how easily I can detach. How comfortable I am alone. How much I prefer silence. How anxious and angry people make me. How anxious and angry I make myself. How automatically my mind switches to self-destruction at the slightest upset. How I might just choose to exclude myself from society one day and never talk to or see anyone ever again.

///WHATIF///

sometimes..

i think what it would mean to me

if you were never ever mean to me

if i never made a mess of me

did i really have to dive that deep

just to surface free?

i hit rock bottom and forgot my being

i didn't have to kill myself to kill my spirit

you speared my heart but i wish that you didn't

was wit' you everyday, still said i was creepin'

daily conflicts had both us screamin'

concrete walls had my knuckles bleedin'

you never even stopped even if i was weepin'

i never understood why we did what we did but

i know your mama left you on the side of the street and

said your grandma'd pick you up but she never appeared and

had a daughter wit' a hoodrat that you let me meet but

i just got sober yet you grew your weed here

i was fresh outta rehab you were fresh drinkin' beers and
you coulda' made me stronger but you made me weaker

the scars from our wars i can't even measure
my body and my spirit were my only treasures

you were merely a replacement for past drugs of leisure

shoulda' known i didn't need drugs like escher

shoulda' always known i deserved much better

she shoulda' known better

but i knew i had to let her

experience the worst to learn her lesson

learn a strong spirit was her only weapon

the only thing to keep her from bein' stepped on

all she needed to do was shine her light on

every little shadow that would cloud her sight