///2008///

This photo is the only reminder I need right now. That feeling is creeping up on me, I can sense it a league away. It's knocking me down ever so slowly, a chain of dominoes slightly glued to the surface. I brought this upon myself.

It's irritating how becoming a Facebook member is inevitably synonymous with becoming a stalker. It's the near-perfect mindless activity to cure boredom. But it sucks beyond words finding yourself unconsciously stalking shit that deeply upsets you.

Fuck masochism, I'm done serving dessert to that bullshit addiction. I used to always say, with utmost pride & seeming wit, that I enjoyed masochistic hedonism & hedonistic masochism. Whothefuck was I kidding, I was intolerably miserable more often than not. This ominous mood slow-motion unraveling at present is tolerable but could easily make a quick u-turn. Everyone could cheer me on in horrified awe as I go off the deep end once again. But I won't let that happen, because it is precisely that which is my new fear: regressing from what I am back to what I was.

Winter 2008

Summer 2010